New year 2013 ,London . Spending 1st January in London . Stuff of dreams . I had initially welcomed the vibrant buzz that comes with living in a city as vast and metropolitan. A city where nobody gave a damn about who you were , what you wore or what you did . As the buzz wore down , I realized that I might as well have shortened that sentence to ‘Nobody gave a damn’. I hadn’t accustomed as much to the chilly winters. Couple this with homesickness and the fact that I was working double shifts almost everyday , I inevitably fell sick . The only friend I had was out of town .I had convinced myself that no one would bother to call or ask if I was alive or dead . And for a really long time , no one did . Until she called .She did not have to . Yet she called and offered comfort .. inquired if i needed anything .. and restored my faith that maybe just maybe people do care . I don’t remember if I had ever thanked her properly for that day . I really do hope that she reads this to understand how much that meant .
July 2014 . Married and settled in Gurgaon . Its funny how concrete that sounds -Married and settled . When, for the first one year you are actually still settling in . Its this really weird phase in which where you lived is no longer your home and where you live is not quite . You are still trying to figure out what being a wife means .You are still trying to get accustomed to being a MRS someone .. to a meshing of identities . And inevitably, you get stuck by bizarre spells of loneliness
Because you can no longer go over to your friends place uninvited . Because they are in different cities. You cannot share your favorite jokes with your friends here . Because they speak a different language . You cannot just call your mom and cry . Because, hello you are now an adult . And frankly sometimes its all overwhelming . Career .. family . friends . aspirations. And on this particular day there was a tidal wave of all these random thoughts that had absolutely no relation to each other. And I had a crying spell. For no goddamn reason at all . I dint expect to be comforted. To be soothed like a child .I don’t remember much of what I said .All I remember was the quiet conviction in the voice that said ‘Sleep , tomorrow will be better’ . And I slept . Like a babe .